Prospect of World Peace Sends Stocks Soaring

U.S. stocks showed unbridled enthusiasm yesterday for the changing of the guard in North Korea, tacking 337 points onto the Dow Industrial Average. Could heir apparent Kim Jong Eun be the Man of Peace the world has been waiting for?  It sure looked that way on Wall Street, where a wave of optimism about something fabulous swamped sellers from the opening bell. Even if the young Kim – reportedly a huge basketball fan like his dad —  merely slows North Korea’s mischievous transfer of nuclear weapons technology to Iran’s mullahs, jihadists and terrorists around the world, it would be the best Christmas present our crisis-fatigued planet could receive. Small wonder, then, that North Koreans were sobbing in the streets as they grieved the loss of their Dear Leader.  And very dear he must have been, to judge from the tens of thousands of mourners who lined up for hours to pay their respects as Kim Jong Il lay in state, ensconced in a glass-covered coffin. Was he smiling when he died?  We couldn’t tell looking at the picture below, although we won’t be surprised if a future biographer reveals that Kim, who’s name means “regal hill,” was a world-class kibitzer in private.

A few churlish newscasters said the distraught mourners looked like they were putting on an act. But then, the network anchors have always had it in for the Kims, especially after Richard Nixon died in 1994 and left them with a large surplus of loathing and revulsion to expend. North Korea’s leaders were bound to be a target of their opprobrium, given the Kim dynasty’s well-known penchant for cute girls, Cuban cigars and Remy. Granted, most of North Korea’s citizens are lucky to get 500 calories of food in a given day. But is that any reason to begrudge their dedicated, hard-working leaders a few of life’s finer things? Did anyone criticize DeGaulle for swilling Pauillac like it was soda pop? Certainly not. Anyway, if Kim Jong Il’s subjects resented his joie de vivre, they certainly weren’t showing it to reporters. For our part, we’re thrilled and delighted that U.S. investors have greeted the apparently smooth transfer of power in North Korea with the enthusiasm and optimism it deserves. At the very least, the nation’s 14 days of mourning will help take our minds off Europe for a while, allowing the world’s bourses to greet the dawn with a song in their hearts.

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  • ebear December 24, 2011, 2:35 am

    Maybe N. Korea can open up to tourists now as a kind of living Museum of Communism? I’d go. I was in China shortly after the thaw, and what an adventure that was! The biggest surprise was seeing Donald Duck everywhere I went. I wonder what strange and wonderful discoveries await us in N.Korea?

  • Amir Murtaza December 22, 2011, 1:43 pm

    Well as i am predicting since 2004 that capitalism is history. But as they consider stock market barometer of economy it is not a bad approach to ask few big players by reciprocating grantee to keep market up to get as much time as possible by propagating each and every news as +ve . But they forget that investor are not fool and it is almost impossible to built confidence on fiat currency again. As it is a piece of paper with different men with no hairs.

  • fallingman December 21, 2011, 11:46 pm

    Gee, you don’t think anybody had advanced notice of the Big ECB multi-year bank loan package, do ya?

  • Chris T. December 21, 2011, 11:09 pm

    “…the distraught mourners looked like they were putting on an act”

    Taking that at face value (did see the comments above of course), all that seems so strange to us.

    And yet, when one compares the public mourning after the Princess Diana’s death, and not just in Britain, it is much easier to understand.
    That the circumstances are different, is irrelevant:
    The most thorough indoctrination of generation of N.Koreans has left, in many if not all, a similar impression about their leader.
    The communist youth organizations with their from the cradle indoctrination, have seen to that.
    And there is no other news available to serve as foil.

    Thus this surely was genuine for many.
    And the others have to put on the same air of mourning, lest they be reported for lack thereof.

    And while we may smile at that , and think we could never be that indocrinated here, we don’t (most of us that is) even see that we are no better off,, it’s just that their indocrination us more subtle and effective — the slave working willingly, thinking he’s free.

    That’s the only reason so much BS comes from up top: they know that most will believe it, no matter how literally unbelievable that stuff may be. After all, they wouldn’t lie to us!

  • Hank December 21, 2011, 7:56 pm

    Satellite imagery will tell you everything you need to know about North Korea. At night… you will see North Korea in the dark except for a few lights in Pyongyang. South Korea is lit like the US. The people there are still starving….. to death…. while the sociopaths running the country could care less. Of course that is what sociopaths do. For an excellent read on North Korea try “No Place to Envy”.

  • Rich December 21, 2011, 7:53 pm

    Aloha All
    Time to buy a pop on the shortest day of the year?
    Click on name for Six Christmas Poppers.
    Happy Holy Days…

  • Seawolf December 21, 2011, 6:56 pm

    Any word as to whether Obummer and Hillery will be attending the funeral? Or perhaps they will send the second string of Biden and Holder? Then how about Bush and Cheney? After all in political circles losing an enemy is far worse than losing a friend.

  • fallingman December 21, 2011, 4:51 pm

    Oh, and I can’t tell you how big my list for Santa is of world “leaders” I’d like to see in final repose.

  • fallingman December 21, 2011, 4:48 pm

    Thanks for putting your finger on it Rick. I knew there had to be a reason for the surge. King Jong Un. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

    For a minute there, I was thinking that maybe the Powerz were ramping the futures overnight and whacking the clownbuck because Bof A had closed below $5, making it unfit to be held in many institutional accounts and putting it on “probation” with the exchange. These things would make Uncle Warren unhappy (the greatest investor ever!), not to mention Little Timmy, and the bernanke.

    I thought maybe the insiders were protecting themselves. Sometimes these outlandish notions pop into my head, but Korea explains it fully.

    • Rick Ackerman December 21, 2011, 5:49 pm

      Thanks for getting the joke, fallingman — not that it was very subtle. Perhaps Benjamin will see your response.

    • Benjamin December 21, 2011, 6:13 pm

      Seen, read, and finally understood. Sigh… Looks like I have to remind myself to wake up _before_ I ask stupid questions 🙂

  • dan December 21, 2011, 4:27 pm

    PUT THE DEAD RED IN THE GROUND AND BE DONE WITH IT…

  • Benjamin December 21, 2011, 2:16 pm

    “Was he smiling when he died? We couldn’t tell looking at the picture below, although we won’t be surprised if a future biographer reveals that Kim was a world-class kibitzer in private.”

    Uh… Come again? What does Kim’s possible smiley-face-in-death have to do with his being a noted giver of unwanted advice???

    Anyway, I wonder how much the MSM and government here in the U.S. would rather that it was Ron Paul’s funeral, rather than Kim’s. I mean, they’re obviously scared to death over the fact that they can’t ignore/deride him out of this presidential campaign!

  • Cam Fitzgerald December 21, 2011, 7:54 am

    Up, up, up and away we go. I would hazard that 12,760 on the Dow is pretty darn optimistic though, Rick. Stranger things have happened. Still watching my Euro/dollar pair and everything is coming up roses. A Euro squeeze is on. Why everyone is so negative on the currency is beyond me (sarcasm). No matter. A big fat opportunity has presented itself and I am confident it will be taken. Still waiting for the 200 day and 50 day MA cross. So close…..so very close. Then look out. I am strongly bullish PM’s and equities in general for the near term (even if the chat room collectively think I am an idiot).

    Oh yeah, back door access. Did I not mention that yet?