The “core” rate of inflation, whatever the hell that is, came in at 0.4% yesterday -- twice what had been expected by economists -- causing pundits’ usually feeble imaginations to leap farther than we can ever recall in a failed attempt to rationalize away our concerns. Are you ready for the number one reason why we shouldn’t be too worried? Here it is: The 0.4% figure was due to rounding; the actual number was 0.351. And here’s the number two reason: Supposedly, much of the gain came from a spike in hotel prices caused in part by the NCAA tournament, as well as by drunken revelers on spring break. Does this mean grad students will have a reason to go down to Ft. Lauderdale every March – so that they can document the macroeconomic impact of Girls Gone Wild?

T-bonds took the news in stride, presumably because of the NCAA factor and all of those naked, pseudo-inflationary breasts. But shares were less sanguine, continuing a six-week decline that had begun to steepen last week. Perhaps equity investors are more sensitive to the smell of manure? We’ll probably never know. In any event, the Dow Industrials finished the day down 115 points, a tougher number to rationalize than the “whatever-turns-you-on” figure that we are given to contemplate each month by the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Who are these guys, anyway? Let’s hope they’re keeping two sets of books, since the prosecution’s going to need some real numbers if we’re ever going to put them safely behind bars where they can’t hurt anybody.