A man tells his broker he would like to start trading stock index futures.  The broker warns against it, saying, "It’s  pretty risky. You can be up big one day and down big the next." "Oh, I know that,” replies the client. “That's why I'm only going to trade every other day."

Could this be our ticket to Easy Street? Judge for yourself. On the last ten trading days, the S&P futures closed, respectively, as follows: down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up. Hell, even my pet Labrador could make money trading stocks with a string of days like that. (“Okay, Midnight, tap your paw once if you want to buy ‘em, twice if you want to get short…”). Plus, a dog wouldn’t get shaken out of the trade if it went badly against him intraday, as occurred at some point during most of those ten sessions.

Yankee Know-How

For those who are skittish about trusting their nest eggs to the family pet, Yankee know-how has come up with an alternative that removes animal instincts from each and every trading decisions. The device, pictured and described below, apparently was offered for sale on eBay (Item number 5574815810).  Perhaps the big money lies not in using the device, but in selling millions of them on infomercials at 3 a.m. in the morning.

About This Whatchamacallit

Up for bid is a stock market indicator, pictured above, that tells when stocks should be bought or sold based on market conditions.  This would be a great gift for anyone in the stock market business.  A bit of old history right here.  This is a vintage piece which is evident by the Dow dial only going up to 2000!   The face of the unit is in great condition.  There are no major dents, dings, scratches or anything else that I could on the face or the dials.  The device is enclosed in a wooden case on five sides.  I wasn't able to get the device out of the wood box, to exam it further. 

There are special screws that keep it in place.  The wood, I believe is walnut and it's in good condition.  There are light scratches on it and it could use a good oiling.  Only the top left and righthand corners have minor dents/bruisings.  You might be able to see them in the photo. All the lights, buttons and meter work just fine on this machine.  The rotary switches turn smoothly on some knobs, and are tougher to turn on others.  The DOW dial is frozen in place, however.  It would need to be broken free or replaced for it to operate smoothly.   I don't have the owner's manual and don't know how to operate it.  [No manual needed if you plan to use it as a paperweight. RA]