I received the following from an old and dear friend from the hedge fund world who will be spending the next few New Years in a federal prison — penance for his having promiscuously mingled personal and business funds and overstated his profits.

Happy New Year to all. May your  health be better than you have any right to expect. May you be treated with courtesy frequently. May the young of the species defer from their iPhones to nod in your direction. May you always have two and even three ply unscented toilet paper. May you lose all your cynicism and disgust at the present state of politics (uh, this IS a real wish). And, may you not show your age by grumbling at the news!