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Signs of the Life Force in a 104-Year-Old Mother

By Rick Ackerman Posted on April 21, 2019, 5:06 pm EDT Last Updated April 20, 2019, 1:04 pm EDT

A friend’s 104-year-old mother became difficult last week in the throes of being hospitalized four days for a urinary tract infection. It might have been said before this episode that Fagel G. did not have a mean bone in her body. It turns out she does, however, and that when it is given free vent – as what other response is possible? — the result is behavior that even her loving daughter has characterized as abusive and combative.  Thus did everyone’s favorite Aunty Fagel become, at least for a short while, anti-Fagel.

And yet, those with aging parents cannot but marvel at the resurgence of the life force, even if its chosen mode of expression is recalcitrance – nay, pugnaciousness. And yes, we must accept that she acted by choice, lest we become patronizing toward a sometimes churlish, 104-year-old woman once her fury has been spent. But suppose her orneriness does not blow over in a few days? We should be ready to accept that, too, as long as she doesn’t hurt anyone or herself. All of our mothers should live to be 104 and have the spunk to misbehave at so miraculous an age.

  • John Davidson May 2, 2019, 1:35 am

    Almost 34 months ago my 99.9 year old mom fell and cracked her spine. At the time she was still living by herself, taking care of all her affairs and still DRIVING. Since she was living by herself the county would not let her go home by herself and I had promised her I would never put her in a nursing home and do all I could to let her die at home. Now at almost 103 I am still living with her, my house 80 miles away sits empty, still paying the insurance and taxes. Mom’s back has healed but she is now in Stage 5 Alzheimer’s, and has Macular Degeneration in the right eye. Caring for anyone with Alzheimer’s is hell. In the morning I pray for a good day and at night I say another prayer for the day she had because tomorrow will probably not be as good as today was. It is hard to see this wonderful lady go from a girl that could have graduated from High School in 2 years, with a Straight A average to not able to balance her check book or has to be told 5+ times each morning what day it is.

  • Pan April 22, 2019, 3:07 am

    This may be a little known fact, I don’t know, but it’s apparently not uncommon for an infection in the elderly to cause them to go a little doolally.
    Exactly the same thing happened to my 92 year old father, he also had a urinary tract infection and his behavior was unrecognizable, he became a monster, but once cured was immediately back to his calm and kind self.
    The second time it happened (same infection) he managed to get into the nurses office and he ribbed up dozens of patient files before they got security to manhandle him to stop.

  • John April 21, 2019, 7:27 pm

    My dear old Mum fought her corner well when she was hospitalized eight years ago. One morning I decided to pay a surprise visit before work and found her in restraints. I later learned that she climbed out of bed during the night so the nurses put her in restraints, drugged her and placed her in the utility room between the dumpsters and the furnace. Please advise your friend to visit her Mum often and at different times of the day to watch out for her Mum. The nurses have a heavy workload and take short cuts. I’ve been taking care of my Mum since she left hospital and she’s still feisty but there’s no drama.


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