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Time Magazine’s Courageous Choice


It’s hard to predict how investors will react to the big news when stocks start trading on Thursday morning. I am of course referring to the selection of teen climate sensation Greta Thunberg as Time magazine’s Person of the Year. This is a bold and courageous choice by the editors, and we can think of only one person in the publishing world who would have had the guts and imagination to try and top it: the late Hugh Hefner. If Hef were still around,  we would almost surely be seeing a transgendered person of color featured as Playmate of the Year. What a thrill that would be, watching two legendary has-beens of the publishing world duke it out for top virtue-signaling honors in the Flavor of the Year category. Actually, Playboy will have a chance to one-up Time when Ms. Thunberg celebrates her 18th birthday in two years. Could they get her to pose for a centerfold by offering to donate $50 million dollars to her favorite climate fearmonger?  Would anyone be shocked if they tried — or, if they failed, be surprised when Sports Illustrated makes her an even more salacious offer? ______ UPDATE (Dec 12, 11:35 p.m. EST): Investors have responded to Time‘s courageous choice with an explosive rally that seems to say “Give us more Greta!!!!”  No one in history has won this increasingly misapplied award for two consecutive years, but perhaps Ms. Thunberg will be the first? She will have tough competition, though, if Hillary Clinton should decide to jump into the presidential race, or the Squad stumbles onto a cure for dandruff.

Please do not ask trading questions!

  • John Jay December 15, 2019, 12:34 am

    Well, with the tremendous advances being made in AI and walking robots, drones, and laser weapons we can finally welcome the GORT robots of “When the Earth Stood Still” movie fame!

    Just imagine legions of GORTs, disintegrating troublemakers at the slightest hint of aggression!

    Then, at long last the Meek shall truly inherit the Earth!

    And it’s about damn time too, yeah?

  • Brian Catalucci December 12, 2019, 11:33 am

    A kid predicting global warming

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