How the Dow Could Break 30,000

I’ve been wondering what might provide the catalyst to push the Dow above 30,000, and this may be it, from Bloomberg:  “A strain of virus spreading in Chinese pigs has shown it can also infect humans, with researchers suggesting that another pathogen with pandemic potential waits in the wings behind Covid-19.” There’s no telling how much stimulus we’d see if a new virus takes wing before we’ve dealt with Covid-19. For starters, the Fed might bring interest rates down to, oh, minus 3 or 4 percent. Bank loan officers would be giving away toasters and Cuisinarts at that point just to have us take thick stacks of $100 bills off their hands.

The credit blowout could be coupled with a moratorium on taxes for 2020 and beyond, and the $600 unemployment bonus could be doubled or tripled. Checks would go out weekly, and not just for six months but indefinitely. Black Rock could step up its purchase of corporate bonds for The Government’s portfolio to include debt issued by strip malls, restaurants, movie theaters, bait & tackle shops, rugby clubs and accredited PTA organizations.

‘Wall Street for Pelosi!’

The stimulus we’ve tried so far has been pretty stingy, actually. We should follow Pelosi’s lead on this, because she is the Democrat most capable of attracting the support Congress will require to give the economy the shot in the arm it so desperately needs. She is the true Wall Street candidate for 2020, even if few realize it yet.

This would also be a terrific opportunity to provide an extra dose of “special” stimulus that millions of homeowners will surely appreciate: new roofs for everyone! Insurers have grown increasingly stingy with hail-damage and hurricane claims at a time when the number of homeowners needing new roofs has soared. The U.S. Army could train roofers so that many of the 30 million who are unemployed will not have to sit on their asses all day, wondering if they should join the rioters, looters and statue-topplers.  If that doesn’t make America great again, what would?

  • Ben July 1, 2020, 2:15 am

    When I was a kid, my mother would say to me, on occasion, “I’ll tell you what… you go to the bathroom, poop out a pile of money, and I’ll buy you that [whatever toy I could not and would not go on living without]”.

    Well, joke’s on you, past Ben’s ma, because the Fed now has the absolutely worst case of the trots!

    Hahahaha! Ah-hahahaha! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA…!

    Yep. I’m losing my mind.

  • investorlist July 1, 2020, 12:10 am

    Sensational, of course, entertaining, a bit, and well written, yes.