Investors were still placing their bets a day ahead of the Fed’s expected 25-basis-point hike in the federal funds rate. Will they go ahead with it? After years of fence-straddling, hemming and hawing by the central bank, it’s a wonder that anyone still cares. Regardless, no one actually believes it will be harder to borrow money after the Fed’s blatherer-in-chief, Janet Yellen, completes her little dog-and-pony show on Wednesday. Zero-percent car loans and revolving-charge teasers are firm fixtures in the consumer economy, inalienable rights that have arguably become more important to most Americans than the Constitution itself. Tight money would be downright un-American. There is no way the Fed means business.

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And then stocks continue the phony rally.